Recently I
was driving home from a busy morning out with my kids. It had been a fun time,
including lunch, so as we approached home I began to review what they needed to
do when we arrived, specifically how important it was for them to obey at rest
time. Emma chimed in, “But it’s so hard to obey! Remember, Mom, I have sin in
my heart.”
A million
thoughts raced through my mind in an instant. She’s listening! She remembers! Obedience is hard! She’s getting it…sin is real to her! Ok, great opportunity
here, God what do I say? Shoot, we’re almost home, gotta keep it short. Rest
time is going to be great today! They get how important obedience is! No more
thinking, say something…woops, light changed!
And so we
talked briefly about how very hard obedience is, especially because we have sin
in our hearts. But God hasn’t left us to do it on our own, the Holy Spirit is
God with us, our helper to show us when we are doing something wrong and give
us strength to obey and do what is right. And that even though we still sin, we
ask forgiveness and God always forgives.
We arrived
home and the magical moment passed as suddenly as it arrived. There was the
usual fighting over using the bathroom first, another fight over who got the
favorite book first, and still another arguing about what to listen to at rest
time. “So much for obedience!!” I grumbled as I left their room.
Emma’s
words echoed in my mind, “But it’s so
hard to obey!”
Give them grace.
Remind them
gently.
Teach
them faithfully.
Deep breath, quick prayer. Rest time, take 2!
Ten minutes
later I’d left my grace in the other room, my words could never have been
called gentle, and I was angry that my quiet time was interrupted. I wasn’t an
example of faithfulness to anything except my own selfish desires.
I left
their room with a self-justified huff, my words “you need to obey now!” hotly ringing in my ears. How
quickly I deflated. Like running full speed into a sliding glass door.
Give them grace.
Remind them
gently.
Teach
them faithfully.
Fail. Fail. Fail. It’s
so hard to obey. Remember, Abba, I
have sin in my heart. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to
forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
So my
forgiven and humbled self walked back into the kids’ room to ask their
forgiveness, to remind them again how hard it is to obey but how God freely
forgives, and to tell them how much I love them.
The
remainer of rest time was hardly perfect. Likely I broke up three or four more
fights, didn’t get the laundry folded, and probably read more of my book while
walking back and forth to their room than while actually sitting. And anger
burned in my heart toward them yet again, and I had to ask forgiveness of them
and of the Lord again.
So like
Emma said, I need to remember that obedience is hard for them, and so I need to
be quick with my grace and forgiveness. I need to remember that obedience is
hard for me too, and so I need to be quick to ask forgiveness and seek the Lord
when I’m wrong. And while I’m learning to see the sin in my own heart, it
gradually becomes easier to not take so much offense when others sin against
me. The struggle with sin is in the hearts of everyone I come into contact
with, so while I’m giving grace to my kids, I can also lead them to give grace
to others. Remember, it’s hard to obey.
